I started to pack some today in preparation for Chapter Focus and the coming school year; about 10 minutes in it got tough and I had to sit down and take my quiet time to refocus and realize what had happened. I’m taking another big step away from the trek, and I’m worried that the people, the places, and the experience will be lost to me. I really felt like this was another step in walking away from my experience on the trek. The combined emotions of missing all of the people and places and realizing how much I have to do in the next few weeks made me want to break down and cry. I know that I have gotten a lot out of the trek, but I worry that there is still more that I will lose if I don’t hang on to the experience; but another part of me knows better. That is the part that tells me that God will give me all of the time and recollection that I need to fully debrief. It’s still hard though. I was in an intense experience that was amazing, and now I’m going back to the grind of school. It may be true that my motivations have changed and my plans for the future have changed; in fact I will go into even more intense experiences when I return to urban slums 5 years (or so) down the road. But for right now, this summer was really life changing for me, and part of my subconscious says to me that walking away is the death of it to me. I know that this is not the truth and during my quiet time God really got me excited about things again, but it’s still going to be tough at times. ‘Cause in a way I am walking away, but I need to trust that God will keep that experience with me as I move on to other things for Him.